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30 September 2009 @ 09:35 pm
I don't like how everything is getting so strict and...LAME. Since when is art 70% about research and PAPER WRITING. Every piece we do we have to gather around like children. Listen about the project for a good half of the day, have occasional meetings also throughout the day. We have to RESEARCH what we're doing write a PAPER on it, pick two artists, write about THEM. Do the project to CASTNER'S standard. Fuck that I just go as mom B. Then write ANOTHER paper. A reflection this time.

I can perfectly understand research and writing but...to that extent? I mean. What the hell. Seriously? Also REQUIRED homework in ALL shops now. And shops getting graded like ACEDEMIC classes. It makes no sense.

And it's annoying that Castner tries to make everything... SOFT. If I won tell me I won, if I lost tell me I lost, I need to get better and improve. Don't take a close race and tell me it's a TIE. It was NOT a tie because B told me so. Be told me I won. It was close, and I was going to incorporate the other idea also, because hell; it was a good idea, but it did not TIE with me.

I think that everyone can do art, but not everyone is an artist.

I think that Shane is the only true artist in our shop. I think that Annie is an artist. I think that being an artist is a state of mind. It's not only what you put onto the paper, but what's BEHIND that, also. I don't consider myself an artist. I'm hopeful that some day I will though...

I don't like that we have to turn our sketchpads in to be looked at by the teachers.... Hmmm... mine is of... questionable content of various kinds. All Jake draws is people, animals, trees, ANYTHING getting high, or strange disturbing shit that's kinda poorly drawn but still fucked up if you think about it. Shane's has a whole bunch of penises in it. .... Spelling out various words, his favorite being 'squirt'. I think Wanza's will be fine. Angie's have a lot of COPIED, TRACED, and STOLEN images in them. Or just porn.

Coral says fucked up things happen over my house. She said that when she slept over she had screwed up dreams and saw shit/heard shit too. That's unusual for my house :c I didn't mention anything to her before she told me those things either.

The crawlspace hasn't made noise in a while.

I'm happy for that.

I wish I could draw the way I see in my head. Or the way I think that would be too cool.

More practice I guess.

I've decided that after weeding through my relatives I am pretty much 4 quarters ethnic.

I am Polish, Swedish, Irish, and Either French, or French Canadian.

I'm also a little bit two parts different native American. But it's small. I am probably not spanish. If I am it can't be proven so it doesn't count. I am not German. The last name Melin; my mother's side grandmother's maiden name is of SWEDISH origin. She mentioned that it may be Prussian at some point a few months ago because it comes up most often. Apparently she meant it as an ALSO not an IS. Because the origin of it was the Swedish Melïn; with the old Swedish umlaut over the i(not done in modern swedish), rather than Mellin, as is found(as one source) here.

My Grandfather(farfar) is VERY Polish, my Grandmother(farmor) is entirely French or French Canadian. I always thought it was both, but apparently it's one? I'm unsure which yet.

My Grandfather(morfar) is English and Cherokee[(I don't count english, it's almost a given)I belive], my Grandmother(mormor) is SWEDISH. And Irish. That entire half of the FAMILY(which we don't rly speak to BEE TEE DUBYA) is like HOLYFUCKYAYWE'RESWEDESYAY. I can't talk. I'm proud too. But holy shit they force it. And She is also Irish. Our family has a crest.


It's cool, I know.

Anyway. It's 10 and I should be sleeping instead of rambling to myself :U hahaha I kind of wish I was German though. But I'm proud of what I am anyway. Being German isn't that important  :V; Then again I wouldn't complain if I was Russian either hahaha OTL Or ARMENIAN. I mean... how COOL is THAT???
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Current Mood: pensivepensive
Current Music: Start Wearing Purple - Gogol Bordello