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TL;DR
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x-posted...
SO. This morning started of tired. But I'm always tired, so that's fine. Was with Coral at the Twilight Premiere last night, where it was a lot more tame than I thought it'd be, and enjoyable other than the lady rattling my seat half the time. Which is just rude :U I almost told her I had a back condition and to please not harrass me because my spine was cementing together. I wish I remember what that's called though. Mick Mars has is. Something with the word 'lose' in it I remember.
Anyhow. Getting ride to school from Coral. Cool beans, everything is alright. Go to dunks, get a bagel, it's raining la di da. Wonderful mood, talking about nonsense and whatnot. Get to homeroom. Get sent to office. Get DETENTION. Can't get it waived. Bullshit. Go back to science. Feel like crying and murdering at the same time. Mr.Tarpinian asks whats wrong, and I explain myself that I think it's hardly fair to get a detention and not be able to get it waived, as it's my first unexcused tardy in my 4 years there. He looks at the slip and laughs a little. The time on it is 8:01, so technically I missed the bell by seconds he says. Probably 60 or 90. Then I find out that if you SKIP school you get no repercussions. Guess who's sitting around waiting until buses next time she's late? Shane offered to let me sit in his car if it happens, I dunno if he was serious, but either way it's a wonderful gesture.
Then Math was hell. OH and I want to bomb graphics :U But that is completely off topic. Just that most of them are greedy burkes :U And thier teacher seems to think that I am an asshole and a delinquent.
Anyhow, math was how it always is, only with more yelling because Jake Darcy and Mike were being brats.
Then I got to go home. Yayyyy. Bus was crowded with loud people because of.. Salem's powder puff? I have no clue. Don't care either haha.
Then I've got to get to work. 3-7 shift and I can't even get there until 4. The bus gets to my house at 3. Whether I walk or get a ride it'd still take the same(for stepfather to get home). I've told Marco that I can't get there at 3 and he says O.K. and puts me on each Friday for 3.
Oh yes and no one there believed I had swine flu. I had to get a damned doctors not for WORK. Because I would lie about swine flu.
Hhhh so then limpy little Mexican man comes in(it's fine until he shows up, usually is) And so he takes me off of drive through at the last half hour of my shift and has me doing miscellaneous things. I ask him if I'm counting my drawer. He says probably. I tell him I'm leaving at 7(he never keeps track, or cares >B| also this is at 6:50) He tells me okay, and asks if I can stay later. I tell him no. I've got things to do. So at 7 he makes me clean the dining room. Which is disastrous. There is spills and food and random garbage everywhere. I'm there until 7:30 anyhow. I've got COLLEGE applications to fill out, and ESSAYS to write and WORK to do that does not revolve around him. He does this to EVERYONE who works there, among plenty of other maddening acts of ignorance. The world revolves around Marco. I bet HE'D get pissed if he had to wait in a car for half an hour outside his child's work waiting for them to be done with the bullshit last minute WHATEVER they've been forced into.
Now I don't care about doing work. And I've been dealing with all this bullocks since I started LAST November. I need a job, I want a job, and I'm wiling to do work. I am NOT willing to put up with this kind of behavior. I'm scheduled to leave at 7, so if you want me to do something before I leave. Then fugging TELL me before I'm set to get off shift!
I'd have quit by now if I didn't want and need this job and realize how lucky I am to HAVE a job in this economy, even. Anywhere else I've applied has not given a care. Except for one place, which has workers moving at the end of the year.
Then as I'm leaving Marco asks me. "Oh who was that guy? Was that your dad?" Because I had gone to tell Josh that I would be much later than I was supposed to; he was waitingo utside to pick me up.
"No, that's my stepfather. I don't see my dad anymore."
"What? Why not?"
"Because he's gone through divorce, hardly has a place to live, and I work all weekends; which is when I used to visit him if you recall."
And then I left. I'm not even sure how I feel about my father right now. But it's ridiculous that.. Just everything. Everything is ridiculous. Half the time I feel like I'm losing or have lost my mind. The things that keep me sane are things that people would say I'm crazy for.
I'm overwhelmed and stressed over college and life and parents and everything and no one else has a care to spare towards another human being. "Oh cool you're unhappy? WELL I BET THAT I AM UNHAPPIER THAN YOU." Everything is just a contest to out-do another and to get into the spotlight. Whatever happened to compassion? What ever happened to actually giving a shit about another human being? Whatever happened to loving someone? I don't mean about pregnant teenagers or even romance. I mean even as just a human-connection kind of love. A genuine care about someone, with no strings attached. I love Matthew Holm, and Emma Wyre. I have known them for at least 4 years now, and I genuinely care about them and feel bad when they feel bad. I'm not attracted to either of them(Even if Matty is quite dashing and Emma is adorable♥). But I still love them both. Because we're there for each other.It's really hard to connect like that with anyone anymore.
I hardly ever get crushes on people anymore. I've become that detached. I'm actually crushing on somebody for the first time in like 2 years :U It's ridiculous.
Ugh... uh. Also people are way to judgmental. I don't care if you're a transgendered-racist-queer. You're still a human and people shouldn't judge too heavily on appearance or even preferences like that. You don't have to support any of it, but you can still function and get along with others. You can disagree and still LIVE fine and care about one another. A person's choices are their own and if they've got nothing to do with you than what should you care? Then again I suppose this is my own frustration and opinion that not many seem so share; so who cares if you disagree? I'll still be your friend.
A perfect example of this is the fact that I pretty much hate Twilight. I don't like the author, and I don't think that she can write, and I think that the characters she focuses on are bland, 2D and idiots :U But that doesn't mean I go around forcing others to hate it. I've got friends who love it, and it's cool that they love it. I'm not going to go spirit-crushing like some jackass just because -I- think I'm so important that my opinion should reign supreme. Yeah I'll make fun of it and bash it a bit but it's nothing serious, and I always tell people that after. Like poor Christopher who pranced over and hugged me at the New Moon premier last night. He's a really darling boy and adores the series, so it's nice that he's got something to be so involved in.
Hey I can't even remember where I was going with this anymore. So I guess that means that I've either forgotten the rest or I'm done. Yeah.
fml
----------------------------------------
x-posted...
SO. This morning started of tired. But I'm always tired, so that's fine. Was with Coral at the Twilight Premiere last night, where it was a lot more tame than I thought it'd be, and enjoyable other than the lady rattling my seat half the time. Which is just rude :U I almost told her I had a back condition and to please not harrass me because my spine was cementing together. I wish I remember what that's called though. Mick Mars has is. Something with the word 'lose' in it I remember.
Anyhow. Getting ride to school from Coral. Cool beans, everything is alright. Go to dunks, get a bagel, it's raining la di da. Wonderful mood, talking about nonsense and whatnot. Get to homeroom. Get sent to office. Get DETENTION. Can't get it waived. Bullshit. Go back to science. Feel like crying and murdering at the same time. Mr.Tarpinian asks whats wrong, and I explain myself that I think it's hardly fair to get a detention and not be able to get it waived, as it's my first unexcused tardy in my 4 years there. He looks at the slip and laughs a little. The time on it is 8:01, so technically I missed the bell by seconds he says. Probably 60 or 90. Then I find out that if you SKIP school you get no repercussions. Guess who's sitting around waiting until buses next time she's late? Shane offered to let me sit in his car if it happens, I dunno if he was serious, but either way it's a wonderful gesture.
Then Math was hell. OH and I want to bomb graphics :U But that is completely off topic. Just that most of them are greedy burkes :U And thier teacher seems to think that I am an asshole and a delinquent.
Anyhow, math was how it always is, only with more yelling because Jake Darcy and Mike were being brats.
Then I got to go home. Yayyyy. Bus was crowded with loud people because of.. Salem's powder puff? I have no clue. Don't care either haha.
Then I've got to get to work. 3-7 shift and I can't even get there until 4. The bus gets to my house at 3. Whether I walk or get a ride it'd still take the same(for stepfather to get home). I've told Marco that I can't get there at 3 and he says O.K. and puts me on each Friday for 3.
Oh yes and no one there believed I had swine flu. I had to get a damned doctors not for WORK. Because I would lie about swine flu.
Hhhh so then limpy little Mexican man comes in(it's fine until he shows up, usually is) And so he takes me off of drive through at the last half hour of my shift and has me doing miscellaneous things. I ask him if I'm counting my drawer. He says probably. I tell him I'm leaving at 7(he never keeps track, or cares >B| also this is at 6:50) He tells me okay, and asks if I can stay later. I tell him no. I've got things to do. So at 7 he makes me clean the dining room. Which is disastrous. There is spills and food and random garbage everywhere. I'm there until 7:30 anyhow. I've got COLLEGE applications to fill out, and ESSAYS to write and WORK to do that does not revolve around him. He does this to EVERYONE who works there, among plenty of other maddening acts of ignorance. The world revolves around Marco. I bet HE'D get pissed if he had to wait in a car for half an hour outside his child's work waiting for them to be done with the bullshit last minute WHATEVER they've been forced into.
Now I don't care about doing work. And I've been dealing with all this bullocks since I started LAST November. I need a job, I want a job, and I'm wiling to do work. I am NOT willing to put up with this kind of behavior. I'm scheduled to leave at 7, so if you want me to do something before I leave. Then fugging TELL me before I'm set to get off shift!
I'd have quit by now if I didn't want and need this job and realize how lucky I am to HAVE a job in this economy, even. Anywhere else I've applied has not given a care. Except for one place, which has workers moving at the end of the year.
Then as I'm leaving Marco asks me. "Oh who was that guy? Was that your dad?" Because I had gone to tell Josh that I would be much later than I was supposed to; he was waitingo utside to pick me up.
"No, that's my stepfather. I don't see my dad anymore."
"What? Why not?"
"Because he's gone through divorce, hardly has a place to live, and I work all weekends; which is when I used to visit him if you recall."
And then I left. I'm not even sure how I feel about my father right now. But it's ridiculous that.. Just everything. Everything is ridiculous. Half the time I feel like I'm losing or have lost my mind. The things that keep me sane are things that people would say I'm crazy for.
I'm overwhelmed and stressed over college and life and parents and everything and no one else has a care to spare towards another human being. "Oh cool you're unhappy? WELL I BET THAT I AM UNHAPPIER THAN YOU." Everything is just a contest to out-do another and to get into the spotlight. Whatever happened to compassion? What ever happened to actually giving a shit about another human being? Whatever happened to loving someone? I don't mean about pregnant teenagers or even romance. I mean even as just a human-connection kind of love. A genuine care about someone, with no strings attached. I love Matthew Holm, and Emma Wyre. I have known them for at least 4 years now, and I genuinely care about them and feel bad when they feel bad. I'm not attracted to either of them(Even if Matty is quite dashing and Emma is adorable♥). But I still love them both. Because we're there for each other.It's really hard to connect like that with anyone anymore.
I hardly ever get crushes on people anymore. I've become that detached. I'm actually crushing on somebody for the first time in like 2 years :U It's ridiculous.
Ugh... uh. Also people are way to judgmental. I don't care if you're a transgendered-racist-queer. You're still a human and people shouldn't judge too heavily on appearance or even preferences like that. You don't have to support any of it, but you can still function and get along with others. You can disagree and still LIVE fine and care about one another. A person's choices are their own and if they've got nothing to do with you than what should you care? Then again I suppose this is my own frustration and opinion that not many seem so share; so who cares if you disagree? I'll still be your friend.
A perfect example of this is the fact that I pretty much hate Twilight. I don't like the author, and I don't think that she can write, and I think that the characters she focuses on are bland, 2D and idiots :U But that doesn't mean I go around forcing others to hate it. I've got friends who love it, and it's cool that they love it. I'm not going to go spirit-crushing like some jackass just because -I- think I'm so important that my opinion should reign supreme. Yeah I'll make fun of it and bash it a bit but it's nothing serious, and I always tell people that after. Like poor Christopher who pranced over and hugged me at the New Moon premier last night. He's a really darling boy and adores the series, so it's nice that he's got something to be so involved in.
Hey I can't even remember where I was going with this anymore. So I guess that means that I've either forgotten the rest or I'm done. Yeah.
Current Location: United States, Massachusetts, Salem
Current Mood: 
pissed off
pissed offCurrent Music: This is my rifle - Combichrist
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pensive
drained
indescribable
DESU
melancholy
Infatuated
RETARDED Dx
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calm
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